202 - april and 'me' time

Hi April! Weeks passed since I last write here. It's getting busier even though the clinical year has yet to come. Opened up lappy for a PBL browsing but ending up writing here; with an assignment  about typhoid fever being left out. Excuse my laziness, friends. 

Years before, I would cringe my fingers, tingling all over my body when someone comes and talk about future -- marriage. But last night, I was with my friends and we talked (maturely, I guess) about marriage. And magically, I don't even cringe and scream myself out. That's weird, I would say to myself. My friends and I talked for about two hours regarding this topic; and the questions asked by my friends that keep lingering in my mind is,
How to know that he is the one? How to know that he likes you? How to know that he is being serious?
Seriously, I believe everyone has a crush on someone; it's just that you show it or not. To have a courage to say it out loud and bravely; is my weakness. Maybe I did wonder that his 'you' is me, and maybe he did wonder if my 'you' is him. Both don't express; and both end up with disappointment and sadness. Honesty and courage is align; they are both needed in expressing feelings. 

Islam taught us many ways in managing our feelings and thoughts. And that's the work of istikharah. When a believer unable to decide what will be beneficial to him My school friends once said; istikharah is not only for choosing and sorting your feelings about your future partner. Istikharah is best done everyday as every second, people needs decision on what to do, how to manage some works and tasks and much more. Within its dua';
O Allah, if you know that this deed will be beneficial to me, to my religion, to my livelihood and to the ed of my doing, then you make it fixed for me and make it easy; therefore give on it abundance for me.
Or if you know that it would be harmful to me, to my religion, to my livelihood and to the end of my doing, then you take it back from me and also keep me away from it, and you decide for me good, wherever that may be, therefore make me happy with that.
The dua' is beautiful. A believer should not having inclination or impulse to particular direction before he seeks guidance from Allah. Allah will help. That's His promise. Let's do this, Aimi!


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