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#171 - what did i do that i deserve those people





Deleted all drafts and in a process of moving on.
A saying by my friend on her instagram post knock me on the head,
What did I do that I deserve those people?
I know I don't deserve much of what I have right now, pretty much friends on my former school and my university life too.
With a 'biasa-biasa' family background, I'm just merely me still hoping for a good life. Entering school full with tarbiyahs is not my desicion as it is a suggestion from my teacher to apply for it. Entering my university is also not my choice as I just follow my friends' suggestion. Allah knows the reasons when He said I'm not going USA to go for a study. It's just a matter that Allah loves me but yeah- I'm a forgetful person, I'm really forgetful :\
I get into nice biahs, nice surroundings, nice places all the times mostly because of my friends.
Thus, what did I do that I deserve those people? 
What Allah has brought to me, to my life is really nice that I'm sad that I spent most of my time away from Him. It is really nice that I'm crying as I'm still doing things wrongly despite of all His blessings. It is really nice till I realize that I'm still being not a suppose-to-be-nice me. Why you are still like this, dear self? Dear self, please change yourself. Pretty please, my forgetful self!

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