213- a late one

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. It’s a late one, it’s a broken promise to make sure to post at least an entry a month. It’s nearing mid of August. Drafts are increasing in number, the travelog to China remain dusty in the iPad notes, the countless notes to not give up in the drafts section are also getting more and more.

Hi, I’m in year 5 already! (and I’m still not in ‘senior year’ yet as we have a total of 6 years of study for medicine. To look back and reflect, I write most of the post rgarding the struggles and tears being a medical student here and there, but here I am learning for just two years more, and inshaaAllah I will be graduating soon. I don’t say it was easy (any courses would be tiring too), and it will be easy, but I believe I can rock this to the end, if Allah wills. Aleksandr once said in Anthem novel— we act on what we believe in. We’re the ones who decide on who and what we want to be. We’re the one making choices.

So, Aimi it’s okay. It will be okay. Satu demi satu. On…

212- a train-notes


9 minutes before entering July. Hi everyone, it's end of June, exactly one month apart from my previous post. Luckily, I'm still able to write one, although few minutes left before memorable June ends. Why it's possible for me to do so?; because I'm just copying and paste of what I wrote before. A train-notes; I suggest.

I'm writing this in a one-way train to Kuala Kangsar going to Kak Kila's reception. Thanks a lot to a stranger who asked me to wake her once in Ipoh, I'm wide awake in this 8.05 am train wishing not to be asleep and missed the Ipoh station. Luckily, I'm not! I'd love to see the old blocks of building and wonder how people of old age living and doing there. They must be happily mingling around with neighbors and friends. Through the journey, I'd love to see old architectures and keep the beautiful-ness of it. I would wonder how they build such a nice arts and it stays till now. I'd love to see the ol…

211 - been ages

Of Ramadan 1439H and its content. I’ve been away for a month, exactly. Community health posting was indeed less miserable than any other posting I’ve been through. Less books, less hospitals, less tired but more sleep, more fiction readings and movie marathon dan more clinics and visits. Life at Tampin tidaklah seteruk yang disangka, even though I will back at Ampang  for almost every weekend. The scenery, calmness and tranquility is soothing, sampai satu tahap I didn’t want to wake up from my sleep.

With last entry was at early April, now I am here on the last day of May; on 16 Ramadan to be exact. The feeling of being at mid Ramadan is somehow saddening me as it feels like Ramadan will leave so soon. I've sin much to the point that I don't even remember the last time I've repent. Everyday be like, "Tolonglah Aimi, bertaubat please." The word of taubat, macam satu perkataan yang telah lama aku tinggal, been ages orang kata.

When I read …

210- March reflection

April 2nd and I'm home after a rough journey on taking end posting examination.
The Obstetrics posting was good and memorable as I was very excited and couldn't wait for it.

Obstetrics posting taught me a lot, from being nice and kind to momsies out there, to palpate their tummy with gravid, to listen to their stories of being pregnant, to kindly comfort them for not getting children after years, to feel their happy hearts of getting another child, to share ultrasound scan pictures of their babies, to kindly smile together with them when they got scolded by specialists or MOs, to listen to their sad stories especially from young, single mothers and many more. I wouldn't be able to write them all, but this posting was one of journey I look forward before. Since start of this posting, I really want to share and write my insight of this posting.

When I talk and read about pregnant mothers, their wills and strong hopes in carrying a gravid uterus weighing few kilos never stop…

209- empty so don't read this

I've promised myself back in January to regularly update my blog; for at least 2 entries in a month. I guess I broke my promise in Feb. Here I am way in the middle of March, reminiscing what I did for 3 months being in 2018.
Well, I didn't do much except for going to hospital, get bonded while clerking the patients, joining rounds, palpate the gravid uterus, watching and assisting labour, getting back home lazying and sometimes studying, prepare for classes etc.
It's March already. I am 2 weeks before I ended up this Obstetrics posting. I am way too attached to this posting, as it is much easier compared to Medical posting back then. However I wont let myself keep getting this posting easier and made me take it lightly. I will prove to myself, I can be the best and my aim is to let all my friends and I succeed beautifully altogether. Haaaa, semangat ni. Hihi.
I want to get myself full with ibrah, everyday like Kak Muna in her every post. To inspire others with writings, to…

208- a lesson learnt, again

Here I am on middle of February, forgotting the real reason why I’m on laptop;ending up writing an entry for this month. It’s been 3 weeks for my OnG posting. An undescribable feelings over the place, where you don’t know how to express; either it’s good but sometimes overwhelming, or it’s bad but sometimes giving you sparks. No words and emotions for this posting, I guess. Following ward round by myself, it’s almost a crazy yet bearable thing for me now as my friends wouldn’t want to join the long hours of standing, being asked and get scolded. I didn’t want it too, actually. Being in a ward round today with Dr Liza and Dr Azalea, however taught me something today, giving me a kickback, which I should feel this in the very first posting of surgery back then.
The weight of becoming a doctor and physician; is what I learnt today. The responsibilities, duties, and authorities of a doctor might save people’s live, or vice versa. I guess this is when a role or function, or I might say a b…

207- the power of poetry

I thought my writing passion has fade off. I rarely update my blog and tumblr anymore. But, I guess I am wrong. I still have the writing instinct; it's not passion of course. I rarely speak my mind out, so where can I vent out my anger and unopened rages and ranting inside myself? Where can I pour out my sad and sorrow heart; and my happy and memorable life? I will end up writing somewhere else; if it's not the blog or tumblr. I just realize it that I will end up sketching and playing with coloring and finished those by writing a small note besides my 'art'. I guess writing is still my inner self's wants. So here I am after countless drafts.

Yesterday, I read an Instagram post written by Raja Sarina; and I truly inspired by her passion of writing. She writes what her heart beats for. She writes what her brain thinks of. She writes what herself wants to. It's amazing when you can write what yourself wants. It's like you are telling your best friend about al…